I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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