Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I AM VODKA MAN
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
