Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
