I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
thus making me awesome and them whores
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
