Small penises have feelings too.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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