I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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