school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
