i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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