Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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