it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Floor bacon is actually really good
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
