so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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