She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
