Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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