No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
