I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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