this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
