They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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