Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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