Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
birth control should be required to get into college
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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