no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
