so that wasnt chicken after all
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize