please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
