So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
