I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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