I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
