for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
