If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
