My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
