Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize