so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize