I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
