I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
