I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
