i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
