oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
