There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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