Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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