I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
