id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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