Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
