dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
