just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
