I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize