idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
