Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
