Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
