It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
