Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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