Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
