Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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