a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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