I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize