we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
In other news, I just burned my penis
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
