Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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