It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
