i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
