I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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