Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
