You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
