I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
