I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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