saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Someone came in the potted fern
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
