i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
